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Yelling at you... with love

Dear Warrior,

Today, I'm on the outside seeing in... seeing you. You, who is struggling right now.

And I just want to yell to you, with love and from my heart... GET UP!

It’s not because I don’t have compassion or empathy.

That's actually exactly why. 

It’s because I am you and you are me. 

I know that when you can’t get out of bed, that getting out of bed is EXACTLY what you need to do and all you can do to get yourself up... is just get up.

I know that when you can't do this and you can't do that, that those things are exactly what you need to be doing. I know it seems impossible. To move, to shower, to journal, to breathe, to drink a glass of water. I.KNOW. I also know the only thing that’s going to move you through this is getting up. Now. If you’re scrolling, reading this and stagnant. 

Put on your shoes, your big warm coat and hat to cover up the hair you haven’t washed in nine days and go outside and let the air sting your lungs just to feel alive.

I also know you want me to eff off. I’ve been told by professionals to go for a walk. That was the prescription, mid-contemplating suicide, mid-panic attacks... I was a dog walker. Like, I owned a pet sitting / dog walking business. I walked. And I wanted to rage when I was told that by my doctor at the time and over the phone with a crisis line responder while I felt pinned by the weight in my chest to the couch. I also felt incredible hopelessness when I was told that.

And I’m going to tell you right now, anyway. GET UP. Not in the way that brushes off the severity of what you’re feeling in this moment and leaves you feeling hopeless. Because how you're feeling is real. PS. because it's real, doesn't mean its forever... we'll get to that.

But from me to you, from the outside looking in, human to human, Warrior to Warrior. GET UP. Now. Do you hear me? You just have to get up. You just have to move yourself to the door and out, you just have to breathe deep into your belly to know you’re alive. You just have to move your body and feel your feet on the ground with every step, and you must tell yourself over and over and over again... THIS.IS.ONLY.TEMPORARY.

And then walk to someone’s house, or to the doctor’s office or come back home and call someone who will listen and you tell them, "I am not OK".

And that’s the moment, the moment you move towards the passing of this.


That’s the other thing. After you remind yourself that this is only temporary.

Speak up and speak clearly when you tell someone you're not OK.

Because you think, “Clearly, you can see me suffering. Clearly you can see I'm trying to come up for air.... or not trying at all.” But people don’t see it. If they do see it, they don’t know what it is and if they know what it is, they don't know what to do with it.

And hey, you know what. There’s a good chance you don't know either.

But you do know you’re not ok. And you say it and you say it again, and again until it takes the tenth person to hear you. 

And then in time, you move through the darkness. You do, really.

When you do, you get out of your own way and you make a choice and you move and you show up for the simplest things that make massive impact and you step into your power to know that YOU, my fellow Warrior, create your life.

And that, that is when I’ve got you.



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